Shine
by cece1090
Summary: All you want is to be wanted, and loved like your sister; but you also know that it's impossible. Trina center fic. Slight angst, but good ending. T for slight language.


So I love love the show Victorious! I wanted to do a fic for Trina, cause I can't help but feel bad for her! So I hope you enjoy it and please review!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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><p>"My outsides are cool my insides are blue<p>

Everytime I think I'm through it's because of you

I've tried different ways but it's all the same

At the end of the day I have myself to blame

But if you can't look inside you find out who am I to

Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty"

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><p>You watch her smile, as it lights up the stage while she sings <em><strong>your <strong>_song. And while you pretend it's no big deal, that you're happy for her (because you really are happy for her), that every note she sings hits with perfection, every mesmerizing swish of her hips makes you proud, that every clap doesn't pain your heart, and you don't feel the slightest bit jealous (because you know she could never sing it like you).

As she sings her little heart out it reminds of a time when you were younger, when the world was such a happy place; where no one would take what was rightfully yours, especially family. Because family is forever right? You remember singing loudly in the living room to your favorite songs and seeing your parents smile brightly, even though you know it isn't real. You were never a star, but it didn't matter; because you were always _**their **_star.

Your mother gently brushes out your dark hair, and smiles warmly in the mirror. To you she's the prettiest person in the whole wide world, and you'll be lucky if you can be just half as pretty as she is. And while you know, even at six, that the beauty award goes to your little sister; that it doesn't bother you as much, because your parents lie so easily.

"_You're so pretty, my beautiful little Trina!" _

_(_And you just _**know **_it's true, and maybe if you'll say 'it's true it's true' you'll actually believe it one day.)

But you find as you get older that everyone around you seems to lie. You know your flaws, your anal need for absolute perfection, the addiction of the spotlight, and obnoxious behavior. Though it isn't the spotlight you _**really **_want, it's just some attention, even if it's negative. All you want is to be wanted, and loved like your sister; but you also know that it's impossible.

"_No one likes you!" _

(And you scoff at her words, pretending that what she says is ridiculous even though you know she's right. Because after all, who could possibly like you anyways?)

So in effort to keep yourself sane, you pretend that you're everything and more. That anybody would kill to be you, and you flaunt your talent (the talent you don't possess) and pretend that everyone around you is just lucky that you're in the same room as them. People mock you; make fun of you, saying that you aren't really good at anything. But they don't know you, and they have no idea how talented you really are.

Because you Trina Vega, are exceptionally talented at lying to yourself.

You believe one day, people will see the true worth in you and you keep pressing on. Because what they don't see, that's the true beauty inside you. You are no good at singing, no good at acting (well to them anyways) but damnit you're really good at music. You hear the notes in your head, swirling, building, and flowing into this beautiful melody of art. You can't write out your emotions, or even really speak it either; but you can play them.

Your music speaks all the words that need to be said.

And you almost laugh, because your 'fake' personality clashes with the deep, dark beautiful notes playing beneath your fingertips, and people don't quite understand. Of course how could they? You're just a shallow, ditz-headed, obnoxious freak that no one _**wants**_to _**try **_to understand. And someday you know your prince will come (you just know it, and you keep saying because saying makes it seems real.)

You laugh flippantly while the other's laugh at you, Jade, Tori and Beck. And you pretend that their words don't cut, sear, and burn into your flesh. You smirk in response and run to the bathroom instead, because the tile on the bathroom floor has become your best friend. You collapse on that floor, as tears coming pouring out; and you know that it's the floodgate and you pray to god no one will see.

This is you.

The real you.

The broken, dirty and utterly hopeless Trina Vega.

And you hate yourself for it.

But soon you pick yourself up off the floor and while others call you weak, you know you're stronger than they think (honestly, who can pretend so extraordinary when they secretly can't stand themselves?) And maybe just this once, you won't have to keep pretending much longer.

And hopefully the day will come when it's other people you're surrounded with; other people who can see you for who you are, because god knows everyone else right now can't, not even your own parents. And as you watch Tori flourish, grow, and become popular you can't help but feel the tiny stab of jealousy running through you; because after all you're Trina Vega and you'll never be her.

So you continue your ostentatious behavior, becoming even more of a spectacle just to gain a little attention, because damnit you deserve it. While everyone makes you feel like a complete fool, a total idiot who isn't worth the dirt on their shoes; attention is attention right? And you'll take as much as they give you, because god knows you need it.

Soon the tears that once flowed freely from your eyes, no longer do; they're all dried up. You find you don't have much more to offer the world, because you gave the world your whole heart and it shattered it. So you become cold, distant; never getting close anymore. Your behavior is no longer obnoxious, but reserved and conservative. You almost expect people to notice, but no one does; and the notion pains you. Even when you act normal, it's still not enough; because no matter what you give, it will never be enough, because you're Trina Vega.

So when senior year starts, and you hear that ridiculous statement:

"_Senior year finally! My year to shine!" _

You scoff and completely recluse yourself into your music. As you work on everything from classical to modern music, you relish living inside your own little world of art. Your music doesn't mock you, doesn't judge you, simply listens and plays your inner most thoughts and feelings; like a living breathing diary.

So maybe you don't notice him at first, because you stopped looking at the world around you, because why would you keep slowly hurting yourself? The world is cruel and heartless and you got burned. So maybe he has been in your class for months, or years maybe; but you never noticed because you're too wrapped up in your music to see.

So when he comes in behind you, as you're pouring your heart to the piano; you're completely shocked. Because who would ever be interested in you? Not knowing how to respond, you just stupidly gawk at him; because you swear you just heard him ask what your name is. His blue eyes sparkle, and his curly hair shakes slightly as he chuckles. Apparently he finds you amusing.

"Trina, Trina Vega" you breathlessly answer.

He then extends his hand to you and you hesitantly take it.

"David, and you're an amazing pianist" he says with a warm smile.

And you swear you feel the sun coming up for the first time, because someone finally saw what had been there all along. And even if he doesn't remember after sixty-seven dates, at your engagement party; you'll always remember that day as the day you finally got your moment.

You're moment to shine.

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><p>Please review!<p> 


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